Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm both gender and math confused
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
