no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
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