WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
