you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
