i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize