I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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