I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
