i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
