i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Someone signed my nipple.
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