Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
