Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
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