Having a random hookup so left but love u
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
