well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
