Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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