So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
