..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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