Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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