I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
