Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I believe in your delicious
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
