I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
