let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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