So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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