My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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