Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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