Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
