dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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