I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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