another moral hangover. fuck.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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