I wannas sexs uuuuu
I accidentally had phone sex last night
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
