Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
