WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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