i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
