Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
