Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
