Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
