pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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