Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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