i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
