What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Randomize
