Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
