he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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