UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
i think im in europe. pls send help
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
