Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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