Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
