i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
