i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
