the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize