k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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