Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
