your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
and she was petting her beer can
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
i now understand why vodka
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
