I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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