a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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