Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Randomize
