all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
