kristin has been a bad kristin
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
