yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
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