Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
