Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
