he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
