What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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