Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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